A Simple Guide To Keyboard Types

Okay, so, this isnt an actual guide but dammit I'm peeved - So... let me be clear...

I REALLY like the slim style bevelled keys... as per the silly diagram below in the middle...

most keyboards are the highly stupid chicklet style (show on left) or the 'gaming' style tall keys often found on Cherry MX style keys (shown right).

I like the middle option. but nobody damn well makes it!

- End of micro-rant.

Uh-Oh It's Happening Again...

So, many years have passed, I've now conceded to never owning a laptop on which I feel comfortable typing with any ease...

But now, My long suffering PC keyboard is finally croaking. My KDE-ABW100 is suffering with some keys no longer responding.

What does this mean? well... For one I posted the following to Reddit:

Hey,

I hope this is the right place that can help me, a little upfront info on this request;

• I'm a VERY picky douch-bag, but I like what I like.
• my wife has been driven to desperation by my insanity about keyboard preference.
• What I want seems to no longer be produced...

With that in mind I'm looking for a replacement of my ADVENT ADE-KBW100 I know, I know ...

"But it's not RGB!?" - "It hasn't got X, Y ir Z feature" - "It looks like shit" - "Do you even CherryMX bruh?!"

... I get it, it's not a 'great' keyboard... But for me, to-date it has given one of the best typing (and gaming?) experiences, I have grown to love it. But, it's failing me. And after just a decade of constant use (I mean really, PAH!!!) I note that some keys are entering retirement ... aka, it's broken.

I note that the company 'Speedlink' appear to also have the same design with model numbers such as 'SL-6465 Ultra FLAT Metal' but even that appears to be gone the way of the dodo.

My very courteous wife bought me an Advent AKBWLBL15 by way of 'approximate' replacement, but honestly, it really is a different league, in not a good way :(

The keys miss keystrokes and have apparent problems with ghosting, it appears to have a latency issue i'm still trying to figure out and most keys have enough travel and are stiff enough that an actual adult gorilla using it's full weight pushing down, might just might just register.

I'm not overly excited about having to battery power a thing which has absolutely no reason to be battery powered.

THE QUESTION:

Is there a keyboard I can find with ultra low profile, short travel and hopefully "silent" (or near silent) keys, I really just want another KBW100, but it appears that I have the only one in the entire UK.

Is there a mythical keyboard out there that I might like?

Pest edit:

Some must have details:

• Bevel key edges...
• Dedicated multimedia keys
• Good number pad ( I do a lot of data driven work, and this is a must)

And so, here I am, typing on a keyboard that only just suits my whimsy needs. My greatest PC using fear is come manifest, no longer can I even find second hand keyboards that I would like, the days of comfortable gaming and typing are at an end.

I have, at this point, literally spent hours, possibly devoting days of effort at attempting to find a suitable replacement. But I don't have infinite time, and i'm growing tired of searching and finding nothing.

Once again frustrated that the "industry standard" is, to me... utter bollocks.

Incidental update

While I have purchased a new bit of tech, it's not for myself... I decided to treat my better half to an Asus Transformer - complete with chicklet keys (she can keep 'em...)

I've accurately measured there is enough room for 4 lanes of traffic between the keys.

It was a relative bargain in the pre-christmas sales and being that I'm not using it I have no problem in purchasing something which has the keyboard equivalent to a bag of walkers crisps...

Sadly I've come into 2015 still lacking a new laptop for myself and believe me, my little Toshiba is thrashing it's death throws, the hdd had all but packed up, was promptly removed and a linux drive rammed in as a measure to just keep the damn thing going.

And it's certainly not looking like I'm going to find a laptop (in my budget) that meets my demands for non-idiotic keys.

Every time I've looked recently the Toshiba models are once again proving to be the only modestly priced hardware that has 'normal' keyboards...

Currently - if I could make up an excuse to make a purchase and not have to contemplate things like having to buy food, Id probably vote for one of these:

Toshiba Satellite PRO C50-A-1KJ

image yoinked from: expertreviews.co.uk

Basically no change from my previous target ... hmm I'm seeing a trend emerge here... Anyways:
It runs a not completely pointless intel i5 4200M and regardless of what's under the hood... just look at those keys, begging to be typed on (or more likely have the W,A,S,D thrashed to an inch of their little buttony lives)

Sadly it currently ships for about £600 give or take the price of a bag of chips ... and right now that's not the kind of cash I have to spare (sad panda mode engaged) strangely this price has also risen by some notable amount since I last was 'looking' (see my previous post).

I'm really struggling to find anything made by any other manufacturer that retains 'classic' scissor keys, but if you've spotted one, or even own a 'modern' laptop that has non-scrabble-tile keyboard drop me a line!

The Key(s) to Success ...

I mentioned before I use a Toshiba currently, and while I'm VERY happy with the keyboard, the laptop is falling behind in capability, now only really any use for internet browsing, word processing and the occasional movie (even the woefully low powered AMD E-350 can spit out fluid 1080p on an external monitor - aka my 42" telly...)

The Toshiba in question is the Satellite Pro C660d which was released more than a few moons ago, And it seems that though all my searching I've come full circle as I'm now looking at the:

- Toshiba Satellite Pro C50-A-1K9
http://www.laptopsdirect.co.uk/Toshiba_Satellite_Pro_C50-A-1K9_Core_i5_6GB_500GB_Windows_7_Pro_Laptop_with_PSCGBE-00U029EN/version.asp

as the image below shows, it sports the same 'flat-bevelled' keys as the one I currently have.

I've found these keys to be comfortable fast and easy to type on, and for what little time I was using my laptop for gaming the keys are responsive with a small amount of travel but tactile enough to type by touch alone.

Every other manufacturer that I've looked at seems not to supply any such 'normal' style keys any more, excluding one model from Dell, in their highly overpriced gaming line - Alienware

So far in the months I've been searching the Toshiba is possibly my only option, but I noted that other than the Satellite range (aimed more at business use) their other laptops all feature the grand-canyon-esque chicklet keys.

Soon, I fear there may simply be no option for me but to forgo use of a laptop and stick with a desktop for my needs, hardly a good solution should I need to be on the move.

The search continues...  

Just How Wide Are The Chiclet Gaps?

A very important question, and one I can easily illustrate with the help of Mr Jean-Claude Van Damme, He popped by to help me with a to-scale experiment.

Firstly I had to measure the distance he can perform the splits, turns out this is about 70 inches from foot to foot depending on how split the action star cares to be.

That's about 1.75 meters which Ironically is about the average height of a man.

In this image we see good old JC doing what he does;

From this detail we can clearly conclude that the gap between chiclet keys is about 1 ¾ meters which is wider than a small commercial vehicle.

My Findings:

• The gap is too Damme wide!

I Really Hate Chiclet Keyboards...

For a few years (from the point I was previously searching to purchase a laptop, which turns out to be the one I'm now typing on...) I have found a disturbing trend in laptop design.

They're called 'chiclet' (or chicklet, or even island-style) keys, I believe it stems from apple? I'm not entirely sure... Whatever started it however has now doomed all of mankind to suffer these cuboid blocks of design disgust.

I wrote this Haiku to sum up my annoyance:

Haiku
Gaps so frustrating
When typing, letters misplaced
Island keys are bad

These tiny squares often where tab, shift, backspace and even enter are all the same size makes any form of fluid typing a chore with example sentences such as "the qyick beown focd jump3d ovet the ;ZY DOG"

The typing experience on these cruddy keys leave me feeling much like this amusing animation:

So, If Chiclet Keys Suck, What's The Alternative?

I have from the time I began typing used  'classic' style keys that is to say non-gapped scissor functioned keys such as the ones on which I regale this tale. While these keys are 'flat' style as opposed to the even more classical bevelled edge keys (which adorn my keyboard on my main PC) The fact that the keys are
placed together and with tactile interaction when passing a finger across them allows much greater typing experience.

The sad part is that these 'classic' style keyboards are now rarer than I like my steak, and I like mny steak to be a little pink ... so that's quite rare.

Why Does Any Of This Matter?

I find myself at the point in time where once again I require to upgrade my laptop, and to do so I must part ways with some hard earned cash for an item which I will most likely use at least once every other day for the next 3 or 4 years, I cannot bear the thought that I have to spend money on something that will annoy me perpetually until such time as I recreate the animation above in reality.

So I put finger to key (non-chiclet key mind you...) to vent my distress and frustration, I shall from this point be using this blog as a collective reference for when I find laptop models which have normal keys and hopefully be able to find one which not only has the magical keys of yore but also the hardware to cope with my demands.

That means that somewhere in the future I shall be spending a few hundred bob on a hunk of plastic and silicone, and by all that is regarded as sacred by anyone on this planet I shall not be buying a laptop which features lego bricks as it's medium of human interface device.