Uh-Oh It's Happening Again...

So, many years have passed, I've now conceded to never owning a laptop on which I feel comfortable typing with any ease...

But now, My long suffering PC keyboard is finally croaking. My KDE-ABW100 is suffering with some keys no longer responding.

What does this mean? well... For one I posted the following to Reddit:

Hey,

I hope this is the right place that can help me, a little upfront info on this request;

• I'm a VERY picky douch-bag, but I like what I like.
• my wife has been driven to desperation by my insanity about keyboard preference.
• What I want seems to no longer be produced...

With that in mind I'm looking for a replacement of my ADVENT ADE-KBW100 I know, I know ...

"But it's not RGB!?" - "It hasn't got X, Y ir Z feature" - "It looks like shit" - "Do you even CherryMX bruh?!"

... I get it, it's not a 'great' keyboard... But for me, to-date it has given one of the best typing (and gaming?) experiences, I have grown to love it. But, it's failing me. And after just a decade of constant use (I mean really, PAH!!!) I note that some keys are entering retirement ... aka, it's broken.

I note that the company 'Speedlink' appear to also have the same design with model numbers such as 'SL-6465 Ultra FLAT Metal' but even that appears to be gone the way of the dodo.

My very courteous wife bought me an Advent AKBWLBL15 by way of 'approximate' replacement, but honestly, it really is a different league, in not a good way :(

The keys miss keystrokes and have apparent problems with ghosting, it appears to have a latency issue i'm still trying to figure out and most keys have enough travel and are stiff enough that an actual adult gorilla using it's full weight pushing down, might just might just register.

I'm not overly excited about having to battery power a thing which has absolutely no reason to be battery powered.

THE QUESTION:

Is there a keyboard I can find with ultra low profile, short travel and hopefully "silent" (or near silent) keys, I really just want another KBW100, but it appears that I have the only one in the entire UK.

Is there a mythical keyboard out there that I might like?

Pest edit:

Some must have details:

• Bevel key edges...
• Dedicated multimedia keys
• Good number pad ( I do a lot of data driven work, and this is a must)

And so, here I am, typing on a keyboard that only just suits my whimsy needs. My greatest PC using fear is come manifest, no longer can I even find second hand keyboards that I would like, the days of comfortable gaming and typing are at an end.

I have, at this point, literally spent hours, possibly devoting days of effort at attempting to find a suitable replacement. But I don't have infinite time, and i'm growing tired of searching and finding nothing.

Once again frustrated that the "industry standard" is, to me... utter bollocks.

I Really Hate Chiclet Keyboards...

For a few years (from the point I was previously searching to purchase a laptop, which turns out to be the one I'm now typing on...) I have found a disturbing trend in laptop design.

They're called 'chiclet' (or chicklet, or even island-style) keys, I believe it stems from apple? I'm not entirely sure... Whatever started it however has now doomed all of mankind to suffer these cuboid blocks of design disgust.

I wrote this Haiku to sum up my annoyance:

Haiku
Gaps so frustrating
When typing, letters misplaced
Island keys are bad

These tiny squares often where tab, shift, backspace and even enter are all the same size makes any form of fluid typing a chore with example sentences such as "the qyick beown focd jump3d ovet the ;ZY DOG"

The typing experience on these cruddy keys leave me feeling much like this amusing animation:

So, If Chiclet Keys Suck, What's The Alternative?

I have from the time I began typing used  'classic' style keys that is to say non-gapped scissor functioned keys such as the ones on which I regale this tale. While these keys are 'flat' style as opposed to the even more classical bevelled edge keys (which adorn my keyboard on my main PC) The fact that the keys are
placed together and with tactile interaction when passing a finger across them allows much greater typing experience.

The sad part is that these 'classic' style keyboards are now rarer than I like my steak, and I like mny steak to be a little pink ... so that's quite rare.

Why Does Any Of This Matter?

I find myself at the point in time where once again I require to upgrade my laptop, and to do so I must part ways with some hard earned cash for an item which I will most likely use at least once every other day for the next 3 or 4 years, I cannot bear the thought that I have to spend money on something that will annoy me perpetually until such time as I recreate the animation above in reality.

So I put finger to key (non-chiclet key mind you...) to vent my distress and frustration, I shall from this point be using this blog as a collective reference for when I find laptop models which have normal keys and hopefully be able to find one which not only has the magical keys of yore but also the hardware to cope with my demands.

That means that somewhere in the future I shall be spending a few hundred bob on a hunk of plastic and silicone, and by all that is regarded as sacred by anyone on this planet I shall not be buying a laptop which features lego bricks as it's medium of human interface device.